Just been out on my bike solo for the first time in forever. I had no more excuses. I’ve purchased every gadget and items of apparel that prevented me from getting out for the past two years. Oh I can’t go out this weekend cuz I haven’t got a set of lights and it’s Winter and it might suddenly go dark – Amazon checkout – Oh yeh, still need to get me a bright green reflective jacket cuz I need one before I can ride – Amazon checkout – If only I had a water bottle that fitted in the back of my new reflective jacket THEN I’d go out – Amazon checkout…Woke up this morning feeling pretty energised, without a tall tale of a bad night’s sleep thanks to kids, a back back (see kids), lack of equipment (see my book of excuses above) and to be fair a pretty massive feeling in the back of my mind that I really should do something at least slightly related to not dying before the summer.
You see this year marks one of those milestone Birthdays and I didn’t think it would ever affect me but it really has got under my skin over the last few months. I would have never imagined I would have made it this far when I was in my late teens – I simply didn’t have a care about my health or well being and took some ill advised decisions that I’m pretty sure are kicking me in the ass right now. A life style of beer, cigarettes, kebabs, an impressive VHS and music collection, 4 hours sleep a night and a total lack of exercise pretty much summed up 1993 – 2002. I gave up smoking before the birth of Thing1 and have been caffeine free for a large part of that time off and on but have supplemented those cravings with alcohol and chocolate . To the point where I don’t think my older kids could take another night of Daddy being melancholic reading bedtime stories having smashed a bottle with dinner and snoozing lightly with Harry Potter still in my hands. So I had the grand idea of giving up all alcohol for a year – ‘a year off the beer’ was how the marketing department in my head made sense of it. It was also supposed to coincide with the last anniversary of my birth but got delayed until after the end of summer, cuz you know, summer and booze. And endless excuses. Fast forward and I’ve been sober for many months now and I can tell you it’s getting easier to reconcile the health advantages over the hangover and upsetting people. I’ve been 100% free of even the smallest drop and I work for a flipping brewery so it hasn’t been easy. But as I rode my bike earlier, it struck me that I should be feeling better about my wonderful life and that it’s just a day that doesn’t have any real cosmic significance except in my head – which of course is correct. My wife has to put up a lot from me and I can’t tell you how awesome she is dealing with the bag of broken glass that is my personality. To help out with some of these sharp edges, we’ve made some other changes. I’m trying to claw back a little of what made me me before children – I used to write and play music – ha, remember that – so I now try and have a night (2-3 hours) a week to myself where I can try and muster enough creative juice to make something appear. Which is hard to say GO and expect genius to appear in a frazzled brain and fingers that can’t remember what to do. But it is really helping to separate stress into smaller boxes and some sprinkles of gold have been found among the bits that don’t sparkle which is cool. I hope that these changes will make me a little less angular and less sharp around others.
I suppose the point of this rant is a) it’s nice to use the blog that I pay for but rarely have time to sit down and compose anything of worth on b) I’ve just ridden 15 K and basically wrote this and needed to get it out and finally c) my poor wife is sick of hearing me belly ache about my thoughts so you lot can read it instead. Now if you will excuse me I have to get back to the ginormous bowl of Easter goodies that are calling me from the kitchen…No!!!!! Resist!!!! LMAO….